She wakes at 6am, naps from 12:30-2:30 with usually no issues. She usually doesn't stettle at night till 9-10pm (even though we try to get her to bed by 8pm). Should she be sleeping more hours a day??  Is she overtired? 

We give her milk before bed, but have been trying to ween off that (it makes no difference whether she has milk or not).

What could her issue be? Could it be she is having dreams (her older brother suffers from night terrors). What can I do to help her (and me) sleep better? I am so exhausted! Any helps, tips and suggestions would be great!!

5:45-6:00am wakes (used to be more like 6:30-7:00am)

Has cup of milk as soon as he wakes up

8:00 breakfast

10:00 snack

12:00 lunch

1:30ish nap (anywhere from 1.5 - 3 hours)

3:00-3:00ish snack

5:30 dinner

8:00 bed

anyone have any suggestions of what to tweek to have him sleep in a little longer?  Thanks!

I am at my wits end!!

My wife and I are at a loose end. We have 5 month old twin boys (born 1 month premie). There have been some nights since they were 3-4 months where they would sleep 6-7 hours stretches with maybe only 1 pacifying required.......but since about 2 weeks ago, they are up nearly every hour throughout the whole night.

My wife is really discouraged (as am I) because we don't know what to do and feel like everything we try fails. They sleep ok during the day depending on the day......usually a 2 hour morning nap, 1 1/2 hour afternoon nap (usually suspect) and then the cat nap like 30-40 mins for their third nap late afternoon.

We still swaddle them (have been since birth) and don't know if that has anything to do with it. We did try Cry It Out but it went on longer than was acceptable (hours) so don't want to try that method again. We put them down sleepy but awake etc etc but nothing works. Their bedtime is around 8-8:30pm which by the sounds of this website may be too late?????

Just wondering if any parents of multiples or any sleep experts have suggestions......the biggest issue is their frequent waking without settling down, and the other issue is getting them to fall asleep easily at bedtime. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

It sure is tough when they go and change everything, isn't it?  I guess my first question would be if there has been any major changes at home or with his routine that might be releated to the possible separation anxiety?

My other question would be about your current daytime schedule- how many naps does he have during the day and how long are they? What time is he getting up for the day and what time is he going to bed? As they move into being toddlers, they're daytime schedule needs can change dramatically. Take a look at this Toddler Schedule post for some ideas:

http://www.babysleepsite.com/s.....-schedule/

While it could be some kind of separation anxiety, it could also be a matter of setting some limits with him. As they get older, toddler can try to exert themselves about what they want and need. If he's calming down when you come in the rooom, this could also be a matter of he just wants mommy and he knows she'll come if he yells loud enough. Can dad also help out with just going and letting him know he's okay, and being direct about going to sleep? If you do go in, then I would make it short and direct.

Here's a good post on limit setting with todddlers that you might find helpful:

http://www.babysleepsite.com/t.....g-toddler/

Post back and let us know how it's going.

It is amazing how much better life suddenly became!

Two weeks ago though it all just suddenly changed.  He started screaming when I left him at night, and hysterically :(  We've never had to let him CIO and I hate to do it but nothing we're trying seems to be working.  If I leave him for a few mins then go back in, he'll calm immediately but if I leave again he's hysterical once more so this just seems to prolong the screaming.  He'll usually settle if he screams for 10-30 mins but if he's suffering from separation anxiety am I going to make him worse?

At first the problem seemed just to be with his bedtime and he'd continue to sleep through to his normal wake up time, but now he'll wake crying in the night at 1-2am and we have the same problems again.  And daytime naps are sometimes an issue as well although he can still self settle most of the time in the day after a few minutes of crying.

I know that patting him back to sleep does work, but isn't this going to cause a sleep assoiciation which in the long run is going to be hard to break - not to mention exhausting in the middle of the night?

I'd appreciate any advice - everything I've been reading keeps suggesting this is separation anxiety but nothing gives me any suggestions about how to help.  It seems like we have two options - let him scream or stay with him until he's asleep and I don't like either or these!

Help - I just want my happy little man back!

April

Oh, it's a tough one for sure when they get so upset, isn't it? My first recommendation would be that if it's possbile, to have have dad or someone else go in and put her to bed for a few days or the next week and see if that helps. If that's not possible to do, then I'd also recommend that you check out Nicole's post on Toddler Setting Limits (http://www.babysleepsite.com/t.....g-toddler/). She's been a great sleep before and clearly she knows how to put herself to sleep, so right now she's just asserting herself for what she wants, which is you. Keep in mind that just as kids need to learn to sleep, they also need to learn how to cope and self-soothe. Her crying and anger are all perfectly normal emotions and are it is not bad in anyway for her to have them OR for you to allow her to be upset or angry. You can still let her know that you love her but at the same time let her know that her behavior is not okay. I would recommend something along the lines of going in once and maybe patting her back, telling her you love her but then also firmly telling her it's time to go to sleep. Assuming, there aren't other issues at hand (like illness) then she should be able to understand this. It's also okay to let her know that you will be glad to come back when she's calmer for a good night hug and kiss. This gives her the opportunity to learn to calm herself. When you go back in, it actually will just feed her frustration or anger and then she's missing the opportunity to learn to self-soothe.

Hope this helps. Please feel free to post back and let me know how it's going or we can continue to try to troubleshoot to help you find a solution that works.

It does indeed sounds like the sickness and travel may have disrupted her sleep routines and she's asserting herself a bit more for soothing from mom. How are you getting her back to sleep now when she wakes? Are you nursing her to sleep? If so, then most likely there is that eat/sleep association now.

Have you tried going in and shushing and patting her back to help calm her, let her know you are there but not picking her up or feeding her? This might be one option to try and see if she will eventually go back to sleep. She may stilll fuss, cry or scream, but at least she won't be alone. This way, you can feel confident that you are still letting her know that she's being heard and that you are there. Her screaming or crying at this point will be mostly out of frustration or anger that she's not getting what she really wants.

To get your access code for the Baby Sleep Site Help Desk, please go here https://www.babysleepsite.com/helpdesk/ and click on Forgot Your Password and then you should be on your way to accessing the rest of your consults which I'd highly reocmmend you take advantage of. Nicole will be able to give you some very targeted advice for your situation.

Our daughter was able to sleep through the night with no problems since she was 9-10 month old. 

Since her 12 month birthday she started to wake 4 times a night and only goes back to sleep if I nurse her.

Her schedule:

7 pm bedtime, 2 naps per day each 1 hour. Last nap from 13:30-14:30.

Current waking: 22:00, 24:00, 3:00, and 5:00. Up at 7 am

I can see where the reason for the waking lies. She was sick for a week with a fever around her 12 month birthday. Than she had diarrhea for a week and I nursed her more, because she refused to eat and drink, then we went on a trip to Turkey and I picked her up immmediately when she woke at night and nursed her, because we stayed with frineds and then we went to Tuscany with friends and I continued to nurse her back to sleep in order to not wake the other guests. Yes, this is a lot for a toddler in change and can persumable cause disrupted sleep, I know.

We have a very good routine (massage, bath, book, etc.) that I maintain even when we are on trips. I try to keep her food and life as consistent as possible.

I tried to let her cry a few days after we returned back from our trips, but she cried for almost 1 hour and I couldn't do it. I am uncomfortable with letting her cry, but this was also the only solution when she was 9-10 month old. This way she learned to self sooth and found her thumb. She had severe colic unitl she was 4 month old and is still a bit more intense in her screaming and frustration tolerance. I really have to keep a strict schedule with her, as well as restful sleep in her bed to avoid frustration. 

Greetings from Eva.

P.S.: Nicole, I ordered all your books and had a few consultation sessions from which I only used one. I can't find my access code anymore and was wondering if you can find this info in your records. 

For a toddler this age, he should be able to sleep through the night provided there are no underlying medical issues. The first step would be to start setting some limits with him. From what you've said he has the capacity and the ability to fall asleep on his own with no problems, so the nighttime wakings are really about him pushing to get what he wants in order to go back to sleep. I highly recommend you read over this post Nicole wrote about setting limits for toddlers and then work on some ideas with your husband for how you want to implement these.Here is the post: http://www.babysleepsite.com/t.....g-toddler/  I would also work with him on letting him know that the screaming is not okay at night and to try to help him understand how he might wake up his sisters by doing that.

You might also check out this behavioral modification night light that I've heard other parents have good results with: http://www.goodnitelite.com/index.php It has two settings, a moon for nighttime sleep and then a sun that comes on at a time you set and it helps to teach young kids that moon means sleep and sun means time to get up.

Just as he learned to fall asleep on his own, he can also learn how to go back to sleep when he wakes up at night but he just needs some guidance and reassurance from you both. You can also consider contacting Nicole for a custom solution to fit your needs or some ideas to help reduce his nighttime anxiety which leads to the screaming and high level of upset.

It sounds like you need to work on setting limits with your toddler, but in a way that doesn't give her what she wants while also recognizing that you can't leave her completely alone. For a first step, I would recommend, checking out Nicole's post on tips for setting limits with your toddler: http://www.babysleepsite.com/t.....g-toddler/

I would also suggest you contact Nicole to come up with a detailed step-by-step plan you can follow to reduce your daughter's anxiety about sleeping alone and curbing the "need" for snuggles. Nicole works with a lot of parents with toddlers and you are not alone, but it sounds like you might need a custom solution for your unique situation. I'm sure you're exhausted being up with both a baby and a toddler who should definitely be sleeping all night by now. You would benefit from a step-by-step approach that can be tweaked as you go along after seeing how your daughter responds to changes, since they all react so differently. Hope that helps!

At this point, we don’t know what to do. We have tried just about everything. Any suggestions? ANYTHING would be appreciated.

Thank you!