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Hi Miriam,

It sounds like you need to work on setting limits with your toddler, but in a way that doesn't give her what she wants while also recognizing that you can't leave her completely alone. For a first step, I would recommend, checking out Nicole's post on tips for setting limits with your toddler: http://www.babysleepsite.com/t…..g-toddler/

I would also suggest you contact Nicole to come up with a detailed step-by-step plan you can follow to reduce your daughter's anxiety about sleeping alone and curbing the "need" for snuggles. Nicole works with a lot of parents with toddlers and you are not alone, but it sounds like you might need a custom solution for your unique situation. I'm sure you're exhausted being up with both a baby and a toddler who should definitely be sleeping all night by now. You would benefit from a step-by-step approach that can be tweaked as you go along after seeing how your daughter responds to changes, since they all react so differently. Hope that helps!

Hi Janelle,

Oh, it's a tough one for sure when they get so upset, isn't it? My first recommendation would be that if it's possbile, to have have dad or someone else go in and put her to bed for a few days or the next week and see if that helps. If that's not possible to do, then I'd also recommend that you check out Nicole's post on Toddler Setting Limits (http://www.babysleepsite.com/t…..g-toddler/). She's been a great sleep before and clearly she knows how to put herself to sleep, so right now she's just asserting herself for what she wants, which is you. Keep in mind that just as kids need to learn to sleep, they also need to learn how to cope and self-soothe. Her crying and anger are all perfectly normal emotions and are it is not bad in anyway for her to have them OR for you to allow her to be upset or angry. You can still let her know that you love her but at the same time let her know that her behavior is not okay. I would recommend something along the lines of going in once and maybe patting her back, telling her you love her but then also firmly telling her it's time to go to sleep. Assuming, there aren't other issues at hand (like illness) then she should be able to understand this. It's also okay to let her know that you will be glad to come back when she's calmer for a good night hug and kiss. This gives her the opportunity to learn to calm herself. When you go back in, it actually will just feed her frustration or anger and then she's missing the opportunity to learn to self-soothe.

Hope this helps. Please feel free to post back and let me know how it's going or we can continue to try to troubleshoot to help you find a solution that works.