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Three Month Old

UserPost

2:35 pm
February 6, 2010


fnygrl

New Jersey

Member

posts 6

Post edited 9:55 pm – February 6, 2010 by fnygrl
Post edited 11:02 pm – February 6, 2010 by fnygrl


Our daughter is wonderful and sweet and loves to be cuddled. The only problem is that she wants to be cuddled constantly – even when sleeping. She goes to sleep in bed with us at night, as well as napping during the day. I can hold her for 15, 20, 30 minutes after she's fallen asleep nursing, but as soon as I put her down and walk out of the room, she's awake and not going back to sleep on her own. I often wear her in a sling, where she sleeps wonderfully, but sometimes my back wants a break, or I'd like to shower, or have both arms fully functional to play with our six-year-old son. Do you have any suggestions? Things I should be doing differently?  I realize there are at least a few and we very quickly need to break ourselves of these habits as, in the long run, it won't be good for any of us.  I know we need to make a change - but I am at a loss of where to begin. 

I should mention we nurse, swaddle, use a pacifier, and white noise.

As you can imagine, it's quite exhausting at times.

Thank you for listening~

Lauren

4:40 pm
February 6, 2010


prespark

Member

posts 5

Hi. I know how frustrating it is. I have a three month old myself and he was very difficult, and still is really.  He would not sleep on his own and he slept on the couch or anywhere and at night he certianly would not sleep in his crib, he slept with me (in my arms) every night.  I have to leave him in his crib to cry it out for a bit, i don't leave him in there long, but at least now he sleeps on his own.

I am afraid that what you have to do involves letting her cry it out a bit. Also you have to lie her in the crib drowsy but not awake so she learns how to ptu herself to sleep without you.  Otherwise she will cry evertime you lie her down becuase she doesnt know how to go to sleep without you.  hope this makes sense.  You are going to have to be persisitant in putting her in the crib.  Do some research on it.  This method makes perfect sense and it will work.

Good luck

5:24 pm
February 6, 2010


fnygrl

New Jersey

Member

posts 6

Thank you so much for your quick reply and helpful suggestions.  Quite honestly, I have no memory of how our now six-year-old son slept when he was his sisters age.  But I do know we were able to put him down and have him sleep on his own.  (falling asleep on his own was a different story!)  :)  We ultimately had to use a "cry it out" method with him, though I don't recall at what age.  But afterwards, he was a super sleeper.  I don't want to have to wait too long to get our daughter to that point.  I will continue to read and research and find what will work for us at this point in time.

Again, thank you for your advice.  It means a lot to know we're not alone  :)

Lauren

2:39 pm
February 24, 2010


Kimberly

Admin

posts 100

I agree with the advice given already about trying to put her down drowsy but not fully asleep. This might take a few tries each night or at nap time and it might take a few days but there's a good chance she'll catch on and start falling asleep on her own or falling asleep shortly after you lay her down. Also, if she's drowsy and you put her down but she just starts to wake up again, you might try patting her or rubbing her and making the shhhh shhh sound to try to settle her again rather than picking her up again.

How does it work when you swaddle her? Does this help or does she just break free from it and then she wakes up?

It sounds like you're currently co-sleeping which can be great when it works for everyone, but there are some babies that just don't do well as co-sleepers. My son was one of these. The slightest movement from me or his dad would wake him or he would start to wake especially if it was during one of his light sleep cycles. Have you tried a bassinet or co-sleeper next to the bed.That way she knows your still close by and you can soothe her from your own bed without picking her up.

Hope this helps a little bit! Please post back and let us know how it's going.

Kimberly

The Baby Sleep Site (TM)

11:11 am
March 11, 2010


fnygrl

New Jersey

Member

posts 6

Post edited 9:35 pm – March 11, 2010 by fnygrl


Hello Kimberly~

Thank you so much for your response.  :)

It's funny, our now four-month-old (she was three-months when I originally posted) will fall asleep on her own at night, but daytime is SUCH a different animal!  It's incredible!  But around five o'clock at night, that's when the switch is flipped and she goes into nighttime sleep-mode and there's hardly an issue getting her down to sleep.

Daytime is still a struggle.  But I will continue trying each day and find what works for us.  Some days/weeks are great where (even though we're holding her in our arms) my husband and I can have her asleep for three hours.  But some days, we're lucky if she gets forty minutes.  We blame growth spurts and other baby things when that happens.  :)   We're currently going through that stage right now.  I continue to wrap her up in the Sleepy Wrap and, now that the weather's a bit warmer, take her for walks.  She loves the wrap, but is very stimulated when outdoors as she loves to look at everything around her.  She did fall asleep yesterday for fifteen minutes in the wrap, but woke up and I was unable to get her back to sleep.  We'll get it together!  :)   (at least that's what I tell myself!)

She LOVES to be swaddled and sleeps very well without her arms flying about.  :)   And yes, we are co-sleeping.  Knock-on-wood that seems to be working for us.  We bought her a bassinet which she “slept” in maybe three times.  By the time she was three-months-old, she was already over the weight limit, so we ended up selling it on ebay.

I'm so envious of parents who have babies who will fall asleep anywhere.  Doesn't matter where they are – but if they're tired, they'll just fall asleep on their own.  One day our day will come! :)

Thanks again for being there for me and the other mom's (and dad's) going through this.  I really do appreciate it!

Lauren

12:35 pm
March 13, 2010


fshaieb

Member

posts 6

Hi Lauren, I can relate to your post! I used to have the same issue with my son when he was that age, he could lie against me sleeping for ages, but as soon as I put him down, he'd wake up.  What helped us was using a warm 'cosy bag' (that's what they are called here in the Netherlands), there must be something similar where you are…it's a soft beanbag which can be heated up in the microwave.  We'd warm it up and put that it the bassinett before laying him down, and the heat from the cosy bag seemed to comfort him and take the place of the body heat from being held, and he'd be able to re-settle himself.  At some stage, it stopped being useful (probably when the weather got warmer!). Just wanted to share that, since it worked for us. 

Good luck! Fareeda

12:48 pm
March 13, 2010


fnygrl

New Jersey

Member

posts 6

Fareeda~

Thank you so much for your response and your tip about the Cozy Bag!  What a neat idea!  I just did a quick search online after reading your post and found "HotSpots Corn Bag" and it seems to be along the same lines as the Cozy Bag.  I'll look a little further to see if I can find the same/similar item you used and give it a try.  Can't hurt, right?  :)

Again, thanks for your reply.  It really does help to know, especially during those days that feel like they're never going to end, that we're not alone.  I keep reminding myself it does and will get better.  It's just a matter of time, persistance, and knowing the right and consistent techniques to use  :)

Thanks again~

Lauren

3:32 pm
March 13, 2010


prespark

Member

posts 5

Your welcome Lauren.  I hope it works out for you and your little.  And I hope andpray it works out for me too.

2:45 pm
March 14, 2010


fshaieb

Member

posts 6

Hi Lauren,

My pleasure! Good luck with it and I really hope it helps.  Indeed, it's such a comfort to know that we are not alone :)  Take care, Fareeda

11:44 am
March 17, 2010


Kimberly

Admin

posts 100

Hi Lauren,

I love your attitude to keep trying. One other thing occurred to me, do you have one of those vibrating bouncy seats? For some reason, my son would often nap easily at daycare in one of these. I beleive the providers would set him in it and gently bounce him to sleep. Granted this never really worked for us at home…which is probably a good thing since he might have been sleep dependent on it, but if you don't have one, maybe you can borrow one and try it.

Also, have you downloaded Nicole's free Napping Guide? There might some tips in there that you might find helpful. You can sign up for it here: Nap Guide.

Kimberly

The Baby Sleep Site (TM)

11:53 am
March 17, 2010


fnygrl

New Jersey

Member

posts 6

Thank you, Kimberly!

If we don't keep on trying, we're sunk!  :)  We'll just keep applying different methods and see what works and what doesn't.  Not every baby is the same and I'm reminded of that every day.  ;)

Thank you, too, for the reminder of the Napping Guide.  I'll take another look and see what else we can try!

Thanks again!

8:46 am
May 24, 2011


Rhalda.Worth

South Africa

Member

posts 3

Hi there, I have heard that if you let babies "cry it out" that their adrenaline levels go up and then they battle more to sleep???? Anyone have any comments? I have a 4 month old and have tried it once and he screamed for 25 minutes non stop until I picked him up, rocked him in my arms for about 2 minutes and he was fast asleep….

8:34 pm
May 28, 2011


Debbye

lake arrowhead, CA

Admin

posts 91

Hi there-

This is definitely true for some babies. That is one reason we usually recomment beginning sleep training with gentler methods. Many times, CIO is not necessary and babes can learn how to sleep with gentler methods. The long periods of being left to cry can get babies "worked up" for sure.

The four month mark can be a difficult one for many babies
too, since their sleep is becoming more like adult’s sleep This can
lead to more frequent wake ups. Here is an article Nicole wrote that
specifically addresses this 4 month sleep change:

http://www.babysleepsite.com/h…..egression/" href="http://www.babysleepsite.com/how-we-sleep/4-month-old-sleep-regression/">http://www.babysleepsite.com/h…..egression/

 

When they are still young (and prior to 4 months of age), it’s okay
to get your baby to sleep however you can and whenever you can.  Most
babies don’t acquire the ability to self soothe until 4-7 months, so we don’t
typically recommend strict sleep training before 4 months of age.

Here is a link to our recommend schedule for a 4 month old. You
might find this helpful to see where you might be able to adjust your current
schedule to help ensure his naps and bedtime are at good times for him: http://www.babysleepsite.com/s…..-schedule/" href="http://www.babysleepsite.com/schedules/4-month-old-schedule/">http://www.babysleepsite.com/s…..-schedule/  It's a good place to start!

Best wishes!


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