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Post edited 8:29 pm – May 18, 2010 by Kimberly

Hi Mike,

Thanks for posting. I can certainly understand how this is a tough situation for all of you. I want to assure you that it's not too late to sleep train. There are some kids that go through sleep training at age 3 or 4.

Your pediatrician is right about several things, including that he is capable of sleep through the night and he is old enough to go through the night without a feeding. At this point, he has a sleep association with mom and he's really dependent upon you both as his parents to help teach him how to fall asleep and stay asleep or resettle himself back to sleep. Don't fret too much that your doing last brain development harm to him…while it is true that good sleep does play a role in brain development, you certainly don't need to pile on more guilt about your current situation.

While I can understand your wife's position that she might feel defensive or that she's being judged about her parenting, it would be really good if she were also able to understand that the co-sleeping and the nighttime feeding on demand had it's place and served it's purpose while your son was younger but now it's also time to consider that he needs to learn to fall asleep and stay asleep on his own.

Is she open to considering moving him to his own bed or to work on nightweaning? It may be up to you to present her with a plan or strategy with sleep training and then it may also be up to you to take the lead with implementing it. I would recommend tyring to come up with a plan that you think she will be most open to trying. Something that aligns with her overall parenting beliefs.

Sometime is can be hard on moms to see that their babies have moved into a different developmental stage and emotionally it might be easier on her to step aside for a bit with the sleep training. Also, your son may take to sleep training from you with more ease since he won't smell the milk and because children often respond to dad's differently than moms.

Sleep training doesn't have to nor does it always take months to do. You may be surprised that your son is actually ready to sleep in his own bed and that he's actually in a place where he's simply waiting for you to teach him this. Will he be somewhat resistant? Sure, he will but that's going to be the case for many things in his life and that's where it beocomes your job to set limits with him and teach him. You wouldn't let him just eat candy for dinner every night just because that's what he wanted and teaching him healthy sleep habits isn't much different. What I'm trying to say here is that you shouldn't feel bad that he's going to be upset with this change because it's in his best interest. As he gets older it probably will become harder to set and implement limits so the sooner you try to change these waking habits, the better off you all will be.

I'd recommend you start by reading this series of posts about sleep training. http://www.babysleepsite.com/s…..es-part-1/

If you feel you still need help with coming up with a plan then you might consider working directly with Nicole on a strategy that works for your whole family. She is very good at taking into account parenting philosphies. You can find more out about her consulting packages here: http://www.babysleepsite.com/b…..-services/

Please post back and let us know how it's going or if you just need some continued encouragement or support.