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Post edited 3:04 pm – June 20, 2011 by Christina
Post edited 3:26 pm – June 24, 2011 by Christina
Post edited 1:43 pm – June 28, 2011 by Christina

This will probably be a lengthy post, but I know some other mothers' posts have really helped me and I wanted the opportunity to possibly return the favor.  I am a stay-at-home mom to a beautiful 5 1/2 month old baby boy who was having major sleep issues.  From day one, he would not sleep in his crib or bassinett and so co-sleeping was the only solution for us.  I was not opposed to co-sleeping in general, but he and I didn't seem to mesh well together.  He was always really restless and I never seemed to sleep but I continued with it because at least HE was getting a little bit of sleep.  When co-sleeping ran its course, we started putting him in the swing at night (against my better judgment, but you have to do what you have to do) and that worked fairly well for a few weeks.  This past week, after he started waking every 1 1/2 hours, we realized we had to bite the bullett and start to do CIO.

Let me say that I was STRONGLY opposed to CIO.  I cried for the three days leading up to the day I knew we were going to begin.  I have what nice people would call an extremely "spirited" baby and so my husband and I knew it was going to be excruciating.  The first night, he cried for 52 minutes (we used "check and console") and he woke up about 45 minutes later (his usual napping duration).  Amazingly, though, he put himself right back to sleep.  He woke again later at 2 am when we nursed, soothed until drowsy and returned him to bed.  He went right back to sleep again.  He woke up raring to go pretty early, but we didn't care because it had gone so much better than expected.  On night two, he didn't cry at all! (I think we might have accidentally achieved that elusive and perfect drowsy state!)  When we woke during the night to nurse, the same thing happened upon returning him to bed.  No tears.  The next two nights, the crying returned but certainly had decreased and he started sleeping later, too.  His initial stretches of sleep while using CIO are shaping up to be about five hours which is just fine by us!! 

I'd like other women to know that Nicole is right when she said that most parents prepare themselves for the worst with CIO, only to find their baby does much better than expected.  I won't say it didn't hurt us to our very core letting to him cry, but we had to keep our focus and knew we were doing this for his well-being. 

His naps are terrible.  Up until recently, we had to swaddle him and then soothe until completely asleep, lay him in his crib and sneak away.  Each nap lasts about 40 minutes.  Now, he's become unsoothable!  He just wrestles around in my arms with no intention of going to sleep.  He isn't crying, but he isn't settling down, with or without the swaddle.  I am at my wits end with what to do.

So, I have some questions that hopefully Nicole or others who have asked the same could provide some answers to:

1)  Since daytime sleep affects nighttime sleep so much, if naps doin't go well and he therefore is getting less daytime sleep, will that sabotage my nighttime CIO progress?

3)  Regarding pacifier use, it is the only way I can get him calm and relaxed enough to get him to the necessary drowsy state that CIO calls for.  However, when he starts to cry, he spits it out and currently lacks the dexterity to replace it himself.  So, am I creating another problem by letting him use the paci?  I ask that question for two reasons, 1) if he can't replace it by himself, it seems kind of cruel; and 2) it makes for a scenario he cannot recreate when he wakes up and needs to get himself back to sleep.  Should I go in and replace it during my check and console intervals?

***UPDATE

We have been doing CIO for a week now and there have been some improvements.  We soothe him until he's super drowsy and we now have no problem with the initial going to bed.  He doesn't cry at all.  We watch him resettle himself on the monitor and then he cashes out for a few hours.  However, he still wakes frequently at times when I know he isn't hungry.  A sample of his wakings looks somethng like this:

8:45–bedtime with no crying

10:45 or 11:45–wakes up, I know he's not hungry, and he cries for about ten minutes back to sleep

12:45 or 1:45–wakes up and we nurse and then he cries himself back to sleep for about ten minutes

3:45–wakes up, I know he's not hungry, and he cries for about ten minutes back to sleep

6:30–wakes up, we nurse, cries himself back to sleep for about ten to fifteen minutes

8:15–wakes up for the day

****UPDATE #2

Things seem to be getting worse.  He has now been waking up about every 90 minutes and crying for about 10 more to get himself back to sleep.  Should this be happening?  This doesn't seem right!

How do I know if CIO is working?  Is this much crying after a week still considered progress/success?  I HATE hearing him cry so I don't want to keep putting him through this if what he's displaying is that CIO just isn't for him.  I can keep it up if I know that this is truly working.  Is the goal of CIO for there to eventually be NO crying at all?  I can't really find anything online about that.

Thanks in advance!